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lyrics

I know I’m pulling at your threads. You’re right. I swear, I can’t help it. I’m weak, and I need you to think you mean less to me than you do. But really, you’re everything. I can’t really explain why it’s my gut reaction to act so selfishly. I knew nothing about sacrifice until I spent that night in Cinci getting progressively shit-faced on Jack and Cokes and dreading the morning cause it meant—it meant I was visiting my father’s grave for the first time. At twenty-three, I know that’s pretty shitty of me. I think I called my mom. And when you don’t have any healthy role models to base your adult relationships on, you don’t know what happens to love. What happens when you start to grow apart? I never got to see those distant beaches. I’ve been growing up not in increments but in giant fucking monumental, life-changing, leaps and bounds. We’re only familiar with all of the snow on the ground now. What happened to April? We take a wild stab in dark, pull apart whatever it is we think the other person’s problems could be. What happened to us? What happened in between the months of August and December? You think I make this shit up? It’s been so dark in our bedroom, I wake up thinking that I’m still asleep; my eyes are open, but I can’t see a thing. Not once has one of us bent a tiny bit, an inch. Instead, we’re hard-headed and convinced that we’re right. It’s like we’re sitting in a fire, our house gone up in flames. When we talk, it’s only just to say: “How can we be such drastically different people? I mean, we used to be best friends and now we’re not.” What happens to love? What happens when you start to grow apart? I can’t remember what happened to us.

credits

from Let's Not​.​.​., released January 20, 2018

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Save The Swim Team Huntington Beach, California

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