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Smoke and Candles

from B Sides by Save The Swim Team

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Hours you’ll never get back reminiscing on how much you think you’re owed in life. The copper smell of white smoke and candles carefully put away. We’ll need them. They shut off the power. We’ll argue in the dark until the bills are paid. Love like treading water in the ocean, looking for the shore. When you’re only a kid and can’t stand to fight anymore. It wasn’t fair to me that you used so much that we would lose years in bathrooms, spun out, up for days, then sleeping like the dead, thinking “if only.” And separate all the still useable, not too bad paper plates. They shut off the water. We’re wearing dirty clothes until next week Monday. Feast, famine, and repeat. Pick out whatever toys or games you want, then there’s no food at home to eat. In the car, sitting in the dark, and counting your breaths, years you’ll never get back. Second guessing your decision to wake up. I never dream, but sometimes I wake up to candles burning and carefully put them away.

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from B Sides, released March 29, 2023

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Save The Swim Team Huntington Beach, California

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